By: Terry Harris | Email: Click Here
Posted: Sept 27, 2017 | 3:33 p.m.
WAKEFIELD – Living in Wakefield is just part of her recent – and best – step in a long journey to find happiness and hope, according to local writer Cynthia Bain. Recently she sat down at Green Level, her husband’s ancestral home built in 1731, just days after her new book, “Learning to Breathe,” was released, and explained how she came to be an author, blogger, and transplanted farm girl – sort of.
“Well, actually, I’ve always been a city girl,” she said, “But I love it here! I don’t think I can really call myself a farm girl, though; our only critters are Henrietta and Phoebe, and they knock on the door for bread when they’re not hiding eggs in the bushes. Mojo (the Jack Russell) and Chloe (the Yorkie) are family.”
Bain was quite candid about the events which led to her becoming a writer.
“It’s been about four years ago that I launched Redwood Perspective – my blog,” she said. “I chose the name because those giant redwood trees have to go through a literal fire before they can grow into these massive trees that they are. I feel like I’ve grown strong through the situations I talk about in my book, and they haven’t made me bitter; I truly believe they’ve made me better.”
Bain had ample reason to become bitter, after a childhood raised caring for two younger sisters to protect them from a controlling, philandering father and a psychotic mother – who tried to kill her.
“One night I woke up and she had one of those giant 80s style speakers and she was holding it over my head about to bash my skull in,” she related. “I was like, ‘Mother? What are you doing????’ She never acknowledged anything. She just went back to her rocking chair and started rocking.”
Until she was forty years old, Bain said that she was so busy seeking her father’s approval while trying not to be like her parents that she wasn’t really herself either. Finally, when someone asked her what she liked and she realized that she had no idea, she began to change.
“I think that there’s a lot of women – men too, perhaps – that go through life like I did, trying to people please. Well, I started just trying to be unapologetically me. I don’t want to offend people or be rude – I’m not that person,” she said. “But I’m going to be true to myself. And that’s where my blog comes in – writing about the changes that brings about.”
She shared that a friend had recently asked her if she felt vulnerable putting herself so completely out there in a blog and a book.
“My answer was a resounding, NO,” Bain exclaimed. “I have a story to tell and I believe you can help someone by putting out your experiences and your thoughts and your ideas. For so many years, I just wanted to blend into the wall so nobody would see me. For my entire life I felt like I had held my breath because I never knew what was coming. And now, finally, I feel like I’m not holding my breath anymore. And now I just want to inspire people to go beyond complacency.”
“I used to work in an equine hospital,” Bain continued, “and there were so many people who sat in cubicles every day, and they’d dream and they’d say, ‘One day.’ But one day never comes. You have to take risks, you have to take that leap of faith. I was one of those people that, with the encouragement of friends and my husband, I took that leap. I knew I had more for the world than just what was right there in that cubicle. But so many people get so comfortable with fitting in those places and they’re so scared. Recently, when a friend said that watching my journey gave her the strength to make big changes, it brought tears to my eyes. You never know who’s watching from afar or who you’re inspiring. Before, she was one of those people who sat in a cubicle and said, ‘One day.’”
Bain credits her husband, Fairfield, and her discovery of a loving God with having a great effect on her life and her writing.
“I’d spent my whole life thinking, ‘It’s too late for me.’ Now I want to share a sense of hope,” she said. “Write the book! Grab the guy by the shirt and give him the best kiss he’s ever had! You know those little kids’ shoes with the blinking lights? If you want to wear those, go get ‘em! Every day I wake up and think, ‘What can I do to make someone smile today? How can I bring some goodness to the world?’ People are starving for that goodness. It just takes somebody willing to step out of their shell and do it. And I believe that’s what I bring to my blog – and my book. The message that you’re never too old – it’s never too late – to be the person that you could be – that you want to be.”
Learning to Breathe is available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and Bain’s inspirational blog can be found at www.redwoodperspective.com.